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I can only wish.

Apr. 16th, 2010 | 12:31 am
location: Puerto Rico's History
mood: restless restless

I want to sit in the grass and not be bitten by an ant.

I wish that my diet just involved guava cheesecake and ginger cookies, not integral bread and green leaves. I want to yell on one of Brown's hallway 'I did it!'. I would like to kill a shark and conquer my fear. I want to move to another country and make up a new identity. I wish I wasn't coldhearted. I wish I didn't indulge in a fake condition that could potentially make me a sociopath.

I want to love the same way God loves me. I wish I loved at all.

I wish I wasn't so extremely cliche by hiding my insecurities through enjoying the wrong doings I do to others.

I wish that my beauty wasn't the only thing holding onto me.

I want my family to realize I'm not a monster, but the monster they created.

I wish someone could teach me how to live.

I'm not very punctual with my livejournal entries, as nobody reads them, but I will try to search in myself for a realization to post every week.

Til next time.

Writer's Block: 2012

Dec. 5th, 2009 | 01:56 pm
location: My room. Dressing Up. Mental Image?
mood: bitchy bitchy
music: Shoot the Runner - Kasabian

If the world were going to end on December 21, 2012, how would you spend the last of your days on earth and why?

If the world were to end December 21, 2012, it would save me lots of troubles, like choosing my final career path, or paying loans, or being exasperated looking for a husband...

But then again, that's trivial stuff.

I would spend my final days drugged, to be truthful. Drugged to the core.

Before that, though, I have tons of things to do. I'm going to meet a CIA agent, I'm going to make a sex tape, I'm going to break in on a store and get caught on purporse, I'm going to steal a single glazed donut from those packages on Wal-Mart, I'm going to go to Disney Jail, I'm going to have sex with my hot teacher (who will have to look like Sylar), I'm going to talk to the guy that works in the mall and that I like, I'm going to get married on Vegas (I know, not the dream wedding I wanted, but there's no time for planning, so screw that), I'm going to tell a friend I have how much I hate her, I'm going to lose my virginity, I'm going to vandalize cryptonites, I'm going to kiss James, I'm going to travel to New York and wear stockings with a Starbuck's coffee on my hand, I'm going to sing in front of everybody, and I'm going to burn money away. Then, I will cry for all the things I've done, and for my annoying family, whom I'll never see again.

All of this with my best friend Karina.

Writer's Block: Name your passion

Dec. 2nd, 2009 | 10:43 pm
mood: hungry hungry

I think I have mistaken my passion all these years for something I like. I love writing, yet I don't think that's what keeps me going as my passion.

I have a passion for success.

I'm usually good at everything, yet I don't like anything in particular. I just like to succeed, to be the best on that action. This is probably highly influenced by the fact that I seem to believe I'm not good enough for anything, so I have to make mentors proud otherwise.

Take for example: I study Theater, because I want to be the best actress I can be. Yet, I can not really see my passion for that, but I want to graduate anyways. I can't bare people losing faith on me, and I know my professors have it. How could I let them down?

Sigh. I have problems.

Mad, evil sex. Heroes.

Nov. 21st, 2009 | 10:05 pm

I would like to kill a lots of people. But that's illegal.

So...I would just like to have the awesome sex Elle Bishop had with Sylar on the tv show Heroes. I would be Elle, and Sylar would still be Zachary Quinto, just on a different part of the house, like the kitchen's isle. You know, to balance the height difference...

Mad, evil sex. How awesome is that!?

Writer's Block: Raincheck!

Nov. 16th, 2009 | 06:38 pm
mood: okay okay

A relationship is made and broken by trust. I believe this is the main reason I'm single; I just can't trust that easily.

When a man/woman forgives for cheating and lying, they have the same amount of self respect their spouses had for them. That's the main problem. People should know what they are worth and appreciate themselves. A relationship can't possibly be the same or stronger because they 'overcame their problems and are still together'. Now that's just bull, unrealistic thinking.

Love, perhaps.

I wouldn't forgive him/her too, because he/she would not be worthy of being around a person that loves them enough to forgive infidelity. I wouldn't even talk to the cheater that much, but I wouldn't try to break up the relationship; I would have a serious talk with my best friend telling him/her how much he is really worth, how much I respect his own decisions, even if I don't agree with them, and that no matter what (after the jackass breaks his/her heart for a second time) I would be there for him/her. Always.

Welcome to the Unknow Waters of LiveJournal!

Nov. 15th, 2009 | 06:56 pm
mood: lazy lazy
music: Disintegration - Jimmy Eat World

I'm here.

And I'm lost.

And nobody is listening to me, since I have no friends.

What the hell did I just get into!?

And everything is so damn pink, it's almost nauseating.

Now that's more like it. Ellectric Blue.

My favorite color is cream, but I can't have my way. ><

Anyway. If you are actually reading this, stay tuned to my upcoming Twilight stories: Immortal Betrayal, Born Dead & Lab Rat.